Time to say goodbye

As this first month of the new year draws to a close, I am reflecting on the process of grieving and of moving on.

I am not an adherent of the Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief. No one can accurately describe the grieving process unless one has managed to reach the other side. And then that description is only valid for that individual.

When my late husband died, I thought that I would never experience joy again. On September 27, 1994, Richard died unexpectedly and suddenly in my arms. I can still remember the searing pain but I no longer physically feel it.

It took almost 2 years before I felt like rejoining the world. Oh, I went to work, I saw friends, I visited relatives but I wasn’t really there. It was only years later that friends, relatives, and employees shared how worried they were about me. It took another 6 months before I felt like entertaining the idea of dating.

Then my Sweetie came into my life. As Tish Hinojosa sings, “Who showed you the way to my heart?”

Now I am ready to let go of the physical reminders of Richard since I realize that I no longer need them to remember him. He will always be part of my being.

To that end I gave the 1976 white Beetle convertible that Richard was driving when I met him on Cape Cod in 1984 to his daughter Julie. As I watched her pull out of the driveway with it in tow, I felt no sadness.

It is time for a new convertible with my new love.

Abraham Lincoln and modern dance

Take Bill T. Jones and Abraham Lincoln and one ends up with an amazing evening of dance called Fondly Do We Hope...Fervently Do We Pray. The title, taken from Lincoln's second inaugural address, is also found on the Lincoln Memorial.

The staging was unique and consisted of two ovals. One was enclosed with sheer white curtains while the other jutted out into the audience. The curtains were moved with and by the dancers.

And what a treat to have live music. Too many times dance in Cleveland is to recorded music. Both vocalists moved me.

A very satisfying evening of dance.

Aging is not for sissies

My Sweetie had another biopsy today. This one for a growth on his thyroid.

These procedures are always cause for concern because he had kidney cancer in 2005. Fortunately, it was caught early which allowed him to have the kidney removed laparoscopically with no need for chemo or radiation.

So now we wait until the results are available.

Yes, he still loves me at 64!

My Sweetie gave me 2 bouquets, 2 cards (one funny and one serious), orange-flavored chocolate, and the promise of an iPad when they become available.

I was so excited about the iPad until I discovered that it has neither a webcam nor a USB port. These are important to me since I use video chat and iPhoto a lot.

So do I wait until later generations are released and hope that Steve Jobs realizes that these two features are essential or do I get the latest new toy now? (well, in April) I am all about instant gratification but, perhaps, this time I will have to wait.

Will you still love me when I'm 65?

Happy 64th birthday to me!

How did this happen? There is no way that I can be 65 a year from today.

But if 50 is the new 40, then it follows that 65 is the new 55, right?

My blog will chronicle this momentous year. This grandmother is not going gentle into her 65th year of life.

I hope that you will come along for the ride.