Time to say goodbye

As this first month of the new year draws to a close, I am reflecting on the process of grieving and of moving on.

I am not an adherent of the Kubler-Ross’ stages of grief. No one can accurately describe the grieving process unless one has managed to reach the other side. And then that description is only valid for that individual.

When my late husband died, I thought that I would never experience joy again. On September 27, 1994, Richard died unexpectedly and suddenly in my arms. I can still remember the searing pain but I no longer physically feel it.

It took almost 2 years before I felt like rejoining the world. Oh, I went to work, I saw friends, I visited relatives but I wasn’t really there. It was only years later that friends, relatives, and employees shared how worried they were about me. It took another 6 months before I felt like entertaining the idea of dating.

Then my Sweetie came into my life. As Tish Hinojosa sings, “Who showed you the way to my heart?”

Now I am ready to let go of the physical reminders of Richard since I realize that I no longer need them to remember him. He will always be part of my being.

To that end I gave the 1976 white Beetle convertible that Richard was driving when I met him on Cape Cod in 1984 to his daughter Julie. As I watched her pull out of the driveway with it in tow, I felt no sadness.

It is time for a new convertible with my new love.