Writing at a Wright House

I will be spending the next two nights at this lovely Frank Lloyd Wright house at a writing retreat. There is no Internet so the next post will be on Thursday.

Daughters and Mothers

The bond between daughters and mothers thrives despite, or maybe because of, the necessary differentiation that occurs in adolescence and young adulthood.

My daughters and I have survived quite a bit of turbulence in our relationships and have become good friends.

Yesterday I chatted with them for more than two hours by phone. When I finished talking, my Sweetie commented that it reminded him of my long phone conversations with my mother.

I recently found a letter written to me by my younger daughter over 12 years ago. At the time she was a mother to twin infants and a toddler. She never realized how difficult being a parent can be. She expressed amazement at how I handled being a single parent. She thanked me for being what Donald Winnicott called a “good-enough mother.”

Winnicott (1896-1971), a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst, believed that mothers should not be perfect but rather be good enough.

"The good-enough mother...starts off with an almost complete adaptation to her infant's needs, and as time proceeds she adapts less and less completely, gradually, according to the infant's growing ability to deal with her failure. Her failure to adapt to every need of the child helps them adapt to external realities. (Winnicott, 1953)

He believed that this allowed the child to develop into a human being who was not egocentric and omnipotent.

I am thrilled to be called a “good-enough mother.”

Stormy Weather

What a day.

First, it was hot. The kind of hot that immediately causes sweat to pour down one’s face just walking from the house to the garage.

In the evening the skies darkened. Thunder rolled. Lightning flashed. Rain poured.

After the storm passed, the temperature dropped almost 20 degrees.

Then the air turned a greenish-gold.

It was quite a day.

A Furry Family Member

Callie, our fourteen-year-old tortoiseshell, has hyperthyroidism. The weight loss (she no longer looked as if she had swallowed a bowling ball) and increased perkiness (she is acting like a kitten) turned out to be bad things.

Next week we will find out if she is a candidate for the I-131 (radioactive iodine) therapy. If she is, she will receive one injection but will have to spend 3-5 days at the vet until she is no longer radioactive.

I just want my sweet girl to be well.

Cain Park: Take Three

Tonight it was Apollo's Fire, Cleveland's Baroque Orchestra, and their Come to the River program of traditional Appalachian music from the 1800s.

It was a treat to watch Tina Bergmann play the hammered dulcimer again. She played at our wedding eight years ago. Pete Seeger described her as "the best hammered dulcimer player I've heard in my life."

Throw in a harpsichord, a fiddle, a cello, a flute, and a guitar and it makes for a marvelous evening.

Cain Park: Take Two

This evening we were introduced to Suzy Bogguss and her band after a yummy dinner at Clyde's. Both were a treat!

Her rendition of Shenandoah almost brought me to tears.

She was equally amazing with blues, swing, and country.

Silly Cat

My Sweetie bought a new soft-sided cat carrier today since Six no longer fits in his old one and tomorrow we take both cats to the vet.

I put it down on the floor in the kitchen, saying that Callie would probably go into it since she loves boxes and bags. In a matter of moments she was not only in it but has assumed the meatloaf position with her front paws tucked in.

She returned to it at least twice more today. I hope she likes it tomorrow morning when we zip her into it. We'll see how she feels about it after the vet.

To My Sweetie, Happy Anniversary

Eight years ago, we exchanged vows in our backyard with family and dearest friends watching and cheering us on.

Since that day what adventures we have had. From honeymooning in Cuba to walking the Great Wall to setting foot on Antarctica we have traveled well together.

During the 13 years we have been together, we have welcomed two new grandchildren and watched the babes you met when they were three months old and their older brother become teenagers. You have always been loving and generous to me and my daughters.

I love you.

Awesome!

When we left the showroom of the kitchen designer this afternoon, we decided to put the top down for the ride home.

As it was going through its transformation, my Sweetie noticed that the designer was standing just inside the door with his mouth hanging open. He came out and just watched until it was completely down. He was speechless and, believe me, he is a man of many words. Then he said, “Awesome!”

Artistic Talent

I am going to let Andy Smith's painting we bought today speak for itself.

A Lazy Almost-Summer Day

Lunch on the veranda

Watching the baby bird pleading to be fed
Reading by the gurgling water feature
Watching the blue jay pick bugs off the plants
Planting the last of the impatiens
Watching the hummingbird sip sugar water
Deadheading Shasta daisies
Watching the raccoon kits climb higher

Dinner in the screen house

Ah, what a life!

AT&T Delivered

The current advertising slogan for AT&T is “Your World. Delivered.” Punchy, and I suppose indicative of what they attempt to do. Of course, if you find yourself in a dead spot, then not so much.

But today a personable repairman for AT&T did deliver.

First, I received a phone call from him asking if my phone was working now. I had submitted a repair request on Monday late and it was fixed Tuesday morning when they called my cell to see if my landline was repaired. A little tricky to answer when I wasn’t home to check it.

But since he called, I told him that now our other landline had static on it. He arrived at our front door and said that his check did indicate that there was trouble on the line. He informed me that he was going to check it using the outside box. After finishing that, he came to the door and said that his voltmeter indicated that the problem was inside the house. Since we don’t believe in paying for the “insurance” for our inside wiring, I declined his assistance, saying that we would track it down.

Now comes the delivering part. He volunteers to come in to check it - for free. Am I in an alternate universe?

He spends about fifteen to twenty minutes tracking down the source of the problem. Then he apologizes for not being able to trace the wire through the basement. He explains how corrosion might be causing the problem and how to fix it.

AT&T’s customer service delivered. But I will still keep my Verizon cell service.

The Process Continues

Today we met with another kitchen designer. My Sweetie and I liked some of the ideas he suggested.

Now we wait for the estimates.

Screening

Window screening has been sold in the United States since 1861 when an employee of Gilbert and Bennett Manufacturing figured out that the wire cloth used to make sieves for food processing could also serve as window screening.

My Sweetie and I erected our screen house yesterday so that we can sit outside without being a feast for mosquitos.

But there are still those hours that one spends in the great outdoors, in my case, gardening. About two days ago I must have encounter some spiders when I was weeding and deadheading. I have three angry bites to show for it.

I think I will be wearing long pants as screening when I garden.

Cain Park: Take One

Cain Park is city owned and operated. Besides tennis courts, a sledding hill, a playground, and a wading pool, it boasts two theatrical venues: the 262-seat Alma Theater and the 1222-seat Evans Amphitheater with additional lawn seating.

When we received the Cain Park brochure, it didn’t look very promising; primarily, because we did not wish to see performers we had seen before. Then I started to research all the unknowns (to us). We ended up with tickets to 15 shows between now and August 14.

Our first concert was tonight. Frank Vignola’s Trio did not disappoint. We certainly got our $4.00 worth.

And so begins our summer of music and dance at Cain Park.

Homely or Homey?

While reading Alexander McCall Smith’s La’s Orchestra Saves the World, I came to this passage:

“He’s far from home,” said La. “And he’ll be fed up with living in the barracks and places like that. We need to make it look homely.”

Was this an error not caught by spell check? Or was this use of “homely” true to England during World War Il?

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, using “homely” to mean “homelike” is obsolete. Was it obsolete in England in the 1940s?

Typo or not?

One, Two, Three...Four Kits

Less than a week ago we thought Mama Raccoon had moved her twins. What a surprise to see them climb out of the hollow tree and start clambering up it. Then a third one appeared. Just after I quit filming, number four came out.

No wonder Mama escapes to the large knot above the den.

(I apologize for the quality of the clip. It was dusk and I was shooting out our third floor window.)

Playing in the Dirt Again

I’m happiest when gardening season comes around. At the end of a cold, snowy, mostly sunless winter the rebirth of spring is most welcomed.

The veggies are planted at the community garden. Successive plantings of greens will be added throughout the summer.

Last week I planted the window boxes. Last year we discovered the benefit of using potting soil with fertilizer already in it. The difference was phenomenal.

Today I put in the last of the impatiens. I am behind schedule because of our New England trip. But in a couple of weeks no one will be able to tell when they were planted.

Now we will just need to weed, water and enjoy.

Couples Salon

It was a lovely evening spent with members of our couples salon: good food, lively discussion, and laughter.

The Reader, a thought-provoking book set in post-war Germany, provided a lot of fodder for discussion. I had never thought about the generation of Germans who were too young to have participated in the atrocities but feel shame and anger nonetheless. They have to deal with the reality that their beloved parents and grandparents had. How difficult that must have been.

I can’t imagine how I would have handled that.

My Mother

My mother would have been 94 today. I cannot believe that she has been gone for 7 years.

I am glad that she has not seen the devastation that the oil spill is wreaking. She would have been both angry and sad.

My mother was a very bright, sensitive woman with an eighth-grade education. I remember her dilemma when she applied for her first job outside the home after my father died unexpectedly at 50. The ad stipulated that only high school graduates need apply. I know how stressful it was for her to not tell the truth on the application. Of course, she was hired and became a valued employee.

If she had been born a generation later, she would not only have finished high school but would have become the first college graduate in her family. Instead her children became the first ones.

On most weekends she and I would have an hour-long phone conversations or longer. I still miss them.

I still miss her.

The Process Begins

Stainless steel? Granite? Quartz? Bamboo? Cork?

Just a few of the decisions to make when remodeling a kitchen that last saw improvements in the 1940s.

Since 1986, many wonderful meals have been made in this inefficient workspace. First, by my late husband Richard and now by my Sweetie.

So why remodel? My Sweetie gets such pleasure out of cooking that I want him to have the best organized workspace possible.

We spent two hours this morning with a designer from a company that was highly recommended by friends. The company does not begin work at the house until all of the cabinetry, appliances, flooring, countertops, and lighting are on hand. Then a dedicated crew comes everyday until they are finished. He estimated 5 or 6 weeks to complete it.

I have heard of the horror stories of kitchens taking 6 months because the crew is working on several projects at once. It has been one of the reasons I have not been enthusiastic about having it done.

Now I am excited.

The Effect of Our Dependence on Oil

A computer prediction shows the flow of oil traveling up the east coast and beyond.



Click on the arrows to enlarge the video.

Empty Nest?

Today we did not see any sign of our raccoon family.

It had become comical to see legs and tails hanging out of the hole as the kits grew.

Has Mama moved them to bigger digs? I will miss them if they are gone.

My Daughter, The Lawyer: Part 3

First, she and her family survived three years of law school. Now it is bar prep, 5 1/2 weeks of intense lectures and assignments. The motto is: Do the work; pass the bar.

My daughter has three teenagers and an eight-year-old stepson. I finished my undergraduate degree with one toddler. When I started my two-year course of study for my masters, my girls were 11 and 5.

I really don’t know how she does it. I am so proud of her.

Sex and the City 2

What an antidote to Taxi Driver.

I had not intended to see Sex and the City 2 until it came out on DVD. However, our dear friends invited us to join them and their daughter and son-in-law for dinner at Darna, a fantastic Moroccan restaurant next to the theater, and then a movie. The guys went to Ironman 2 while we went to SATC.

I was entertained.

Taxi Driver

Although Taxi Driver (1976) is number 52 on the American Film Institute’s 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time, it is not my kind of movie. I watch a movie to be entertained.

Roger Ebert wrote in 1996: “What is the purpose, the use, of a film like Taxi Driver? It is not simply a seamy, violent portrait of a sick man in a disgusting world. Such a portrait it is, yes, but not 'simply.' It takes us inside the mind of an alienated fringe person like those who have so profoundly changed the course of recent history (Oswald, Ray, Bremer, Chapman). It helps us to understand these creatures who emerge, every so often, guns in their hands, enforcing the death penalty for the crime of celebrity. Sick as he is, Travis is a man."

I would prefer to look elsewhere for understanding.

The Latest in Hearing Aids

This evening I had the pleasure of watching a movie with my Sweetie with the sound at the level for my unimpaired hearing.

His new hearing aids have bluetooth capability. He was excited to be able to hear all of the dialogue.

Before, if there were no subtitles, I would have to tell him what he missed. No more!

1.6 Pounds of Fun

I find myself several times a day picking up my iPad to check email, surf the Net, or play any number of games.

My first app was Solitaire since I have used it on my iTouch for years as a sleep inducement. Some people meditate; others listen to new age music; I play solitaire.

Then my younger daughter gave me Scrabble for Mother’s Day. Yes, she really knows me.

I have since added Romi (Rummikub) and two more word apps, Bananagrams and Boggle.

I have some of these games on my MacBook but summer heat, shorts, and a laptop are not a good combination.

So much cooler to hold my 1.6 pounds of fun.

Farming

First, it is too dry; then, it is too wet. A gardener is never happy.

When we planted our veggies on Sunday, the ground was dry and cracked.

Today as I walked across my neighbor’s yard, water oozed into the holes in my Crocs. A river runs through our basement. All signs of the almost inch and a half of rain we received on Memorial Day.

The forecast? Showers and thunderstorms Wednesday and Thursday; sunny on Friday; showers and thunderstorms Saturday thru Monday.

I am so glad that I am not a farmer!