Computer Humor or Why We Still Need Humans Who Can Spell

Owed to a Spell Chequer*

Eye halve a spelling chequer.
It came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques four my revue
miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a quay and type a word
and weight four it two say
weather eye am wrong oar write.
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,
it nose bee fore two long
and eye can put the error rite.
It's rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it.
I am shore your pleased two no.
It's letter perfect awl the weigh.
My chequer tolled me sew.

Martha Snow

*Checker in American English


More and more I find mistakes in publications. Novels are especially loaded with the wrong homophones. Here is a quick lesson on homophones, homonyms, and other weirdness of the English language.

HOMOPHONES: Words pronounced the same but different in meaning, origin, and spelling. Examples: cite, sight, and site; sea and see; your and you're; bow and bough.

HOMONYMS: Words having the same sound and often the same spelling but different meanings. Examples: quail (cower) and quail (bird); fair (appearance), fair (gathering to show livestock or wares such as a county fair or a book fair), and fair (reasonable).

HOMOGRAPHS: Words spelled alike but different in origin, meaning, and sometimes pronunciation. Examples: bow of a ship, a bow and arrow, and a bow (at the end of a performance).

HETERONYMS: Words that are spelled the same but that differ in pronunciation and meaning. Examples: bass (voice) and bass (fish); polish (shine) and Polish (from Poland); tear (rip) and tear (from eye).

Now doesn't that just make your head spin.


Kudos to all who learn English as a second language. Let me know if you are stumped by anything in the poem.